Update (part 2) - Moving out

I’ve decided to break this up into two posts because reading it as one would be a cruel infliction upon whoever decides to read it…

Moving out

Jordan and I have decided to move out from his parent’s house in the next few months or if we find a place we love, sooner.

When we moved here, I thought that living with his family would be like it used to be when we would visit for a few weeks over holidays (which I always loved)…and its not. Or, rather some stuff is the same that we hoped wouldn’t be and stuff that we hoped would be is not.

Anyway, most of you probably know that I’ve had some issues with Jordan’s sister’s behaviour and also her parent’s lack of doing anything about it (except enabling it). It was driving me crazy for a number of reasons but mainly because I thought that Jordan’s mum would have more time for us and for watching Kubus so that I could get a bit of a break, but she doesn’t because she continues to cater to the demands of his sister…and I feel guilty asking her to give up her spare time to cater to my requests…but I’m not going go on an on about it. After some reflection though, I decided to get over it and deal with it after my trip to Canada in September because I knew that if I didn’t, my life would be miserable and tense and would eventually lead to something that I would regret. As it happens, Jordan decided HE can’t take it any more and told me he wants to move out.

I think it’s a good idea because when I think about it, we’ve had to sacrifice so much by living in someone else’s home – because its NOT my home, even though we do pay rent – and it will be nice not to have to any more. For example, the reason I don’t call you all much because is because there is one phone in the whole house and I don’t like having private conversations that anyone can hear. I can never be alone or just alone with Kubus in the house because someone is ALWAYS there…when we move I’ll be able to have some time just for me when Kubus is asleep and Jordan is at class (most of his classes are in the evening) and I’m really looking forward to that. Not to mention having the privacy to discuss stuff with Jordan…we can’t even have a proper fight because someone will hear it and judge. I never get to decide what we have for dinner (or have the pleasure in cooking it) because Jordan’s mum always does it. I know I could ask her, but its not the same. And living with parents, even as nice as Jordan’s parents (who I do still really like in spite of what I think of their parenting techniques regarding his siblings), is something that I do not recommend for anyone over the age of 18 unless they absolutely have to. I feel like we don’t have the freedom to just do what we want to a lot of the time…we can’t just take off when we want because dinner is at a certain time and it’s not fair to leave Jordan’s mum hanging. Plus, living in an environment that is often tense can wear away at you. It will be nice to be able to just leave and get some distance – ultimately I think it will be good for all of us.

Not that there won’t be some negative aspects to this move. Money will be tighter because rent will be higher plus we will have to pay for food and utilities. We won’t be able to afford stuff like cable TV (though I don’t think that is so tragic – I feel like I watch too much TV sometimes). But it should be temporary…hopefully I’ll get promoted in June and that should come with a decent raise (though I wouldn’t be surprised if its not that high because the partners will likely say that “in these tough economic times” they can’t afford to, total BS because we’re busier than ever but we’ll see…) and then Jordan will be done his MBA and will be able to get a job in about a year…

I’ll keep you posted on our house hunt and update you all when the move is final and with a new address so you can send me house-warming cards!