I love my face

But not in the vain, I-think-I'm-beautiful way. In the last few months I've fallen in love with skin care products. I finally see my fancy label products as something good for my skin that I should be using as opposed to pretty bathroom decorations. Even though I had Clinique eye make-up remover, 9 times out of 10, I would still go to bed with my make-up on. My toner would have dust on the cap and it was half full only because I accidentally spilled a whole bunch once. I think the only skin product that I used on a regular basis would be skin cleanser - but I would only use it in the shower.

But over the past few months I've started using all of them regularly - in the morning and in the evening before bed. And I love it. I think its because since becoming a mom I don't really have time for myself the way I used to. Before Kubus was born, I wouldn't think twice about popping over to Starbucks, buying a magazine and just chilling out for a few hours. It was great, I would have some time to indulge myself in something that was just for me and that made me happy. Now I just don't have the time - or the money - to just do what I want.

Which is why I love skin care products. Because time in the bathroom is MY time. Its the only place in the house where no one can come and dump the baby on me when I just need some time to myself. As the mom, whenever Kubus starts to cry/fuss/needs to be changed, I'm always the first person people go to. Not that Jordan doesn't help out, but even he sometimes just passes him to me when he wants or needs to do something. To be honest, about half the time I say "I'm going to the bathroom", I'm just going in there to sit down and read an (old) magazine or book for 5-10 minutes. But now I've discovered that I can also say "I'm going to wash my face" and it has the same effect! Plus its a way that I feel I am indulging myself, and I feel like I did something for myself, especially since I actually have some good stuff (I stocked up in Vancouver - the duty free prices were too good to pass up). I can't wait till my trip to Canada and Poland - I'm going through LA, so the prices will be even better!

My face can't wait.

24

So the espisode where Jack Bauer saves the world....

Ok, just kidding. I'm actually referring to my new age. I am officially 24. And that now puts me in the MID-twenties range. Am no longer in my early twenties (which I classify as 20-23). And I am actually kind of sad about it. I never thought I would care about my age (and I know that when I turn 40 or whatever, I'll look back at this time with longing) but for some reason I do.

However am cheered by a few things:
1) When I went to register my new iPod, I was still able to click the "18-24" age bracket button.
2) I'm still considered too young to rent a car in many countries (like here in Australia).
3) The liquor store has a right to ask me for ID (since I'm under 25).

The only down side to this happiness is that its only going to last until next year. Turning 25 will be a bummer.

The number

Ok, so I've decided to share with you all the number. The real number. I am referring of course, to how much I weighed right before giving birth. Only 2 people knew this number before now - my mom, because I told her and Jordan, because he was there when I was weighed. In fact the reason that I didn't share the number with anyone before is because of Jordan's reaction when he saw it first for himself. He BURST out laughing, which in turn, caused me to BURST out crying. The doctor gave him an evil look and he quickly appologized (to her - when we left the doctors office later, fat jokes just poured out of him, followed by a "but its ok, because you're pregnant").

Well, enough dilly-dallying. So here it is. Right before giving birth I tipped the scale at an astonishing 216lbs (or 98kgs for you Europeans). I know. Its shocking. It caused me a lot of depression. It makes me cringe when I think about it now. Jordan did try and make me feel better and say its just the baby and amneotic fluid. Right, because I was carrying a 60 pounder in there. I knew it was mostly the fat that had been stock-piling in my ass and thighs - but I had been in denial. I mean, I had been weighed at all my doctors appointments but being over 200 lbs is so much worse than being close to.

I remember thinking during labor and when I was pushing (I swear, this really did cross my mind), "man, I must being burning like a million calories doing this". I sercretly hoped that I'd have lost like half the weight giving birth.

To my surprise, I did end up losing a lot. I remember I weighed myself about 5 days after Kubus was born and was pleasantly surprised to see that I'd lost 26lbs! I was no longer a 200 pounder! Then, about a month later, I got that horrible flu that was going around and thanks to intense vomiting and diarrhea, lost another 10 pounds.

But then it stopped coming off. And the depression set in. I was 180 lbs and I would now have to start actively trying to lose weight. I remember when I weighed 148 pounds at the beginning of 4th year being worried about trying to lose 10 pounds. At first, when I would moan to Jordan about being a tub of lard, he would pat my back sympathetically and say "but Kasiu, you just had a baby a month ago." Then "just had a baby 2 months ago"...then "just had a baby 3 months ago". And I made little progress. I don't know why. I was breast feeding like mad, Jordan and I were walking a lot.

By the time we got to Australia, I had only lost about 6 more pounds. That's when I decided enough was enough and that I had to do something. I started Weight Watcher's again (which I highly recommend to anyone that wants/needs to lose weight but doesn't want to have to exclude certain foods), started running and joined this bootcamp (which I have mentioned in previous posts).

Anyway, fast forward to now...I'm not at my goal yet (which is to be at my pre-wedding weight) or less before Kubes turns 1. But as of today (July 17th) I am 157lbs! Now, this is still a lot BUT its actually less than I was before I got pregnant. I can't believe how much weight I gained after the wedding, what with all the Greek food we ate on our honeymoon, constant eating out with my team at PwC and doing zero exercise.

I'm really excited because in the last week alone I lost 5 lbs! I think that the breast feeding is finally kicking in - plus I think I eat less. I'm still on WW but I'm not as strict with writing down the points as I should be, though I try and keep a mental note. And, just like Miranda on Sex and the City said "I had a baby and didn't have time to eat". Its true. I don't have time to just snack around...I just eat 3 meals a day and I'm constantly on my feet, carrying Kubes, bending over to pick up a toy, pushing his stroller...and when I do have free time, I use that time to check my email, check people.com (of course), read...I can't be bothered munching on anything. I purposefully don't go grocery shopping with Jordan and his mom because then I can't get anything easy to snack on, like chips.

Anyway, hopefully by the time I see you guys next I'll be another 10lbs thinner - thats my new goal.

Missing everyone!