Hard day

Its been a long, hard day for me...and I hate to complain because I just read an article about child soldiers in DR of Congo and about all the stuff that is going on there...but some days are just hard (compared to my life pre-baby, obviously not compared to the lives of those in Sierra Leone etc).

Today I had to leave the house at 7am because my new client is located about an hours drive away from my office and because the manager wants to keep costs down she wanted us all to meet at the office and have one person drive so that we all wouldn't be expensing the kms. Which wouldn't be so bad but it takes me an hour just to get to the office and then it takes another hour to drive to the client. And the same thing on the way back.

It was 7pm when Jordan's mum picked me up at the train station and she met me with a very upset Kubes. Apparently he had been "out of sorts" all afternoon due to 2 new teeth emerging and he was not happy with me for being away for so long today. On a good day when I get home from work he is clingy - but on a bad day, like today, he is clingy and I can't put him down without an ear-piercing scream that could wake the dead. I actually couldn't even go to the bathroom (even though I was dying to pee) until I had gotten him to sleep - which took me over 30 minutes.

To top it all off, I got a nice little surprise today when I check my American Express account and found that my card number had been stolen and someone has treated themselves to over $440 of my money. And I couldn't even get it sorted out when I got home because of the damn time difference. The Amex people were able to block my card, but in order for me to get the charge taken off, I have to contact the damn fraud department which doesn't open till 8AM EST or 11PM my time. And I'm so tired that all I want to do is go to sleep, to the point where I don't even care about the $440...

Right now everything looks grey to me. Work is boring at best, though at least my current assignment has people I can have a chat with, and depressing at worst, especially when I think about how much longer I'm going to have to do it. Having a job that you have no passion for or even liking for, like in my case, can slowly eat away at your ambitions...I know that I don't even care if I don't get promoted...well I do, but only because I want the pay raise that comes with it, not the challenge of extra responsibility, which I am almost dreading. Some times I feel like I won't be able to handle it but then I meet people who are my superiors and who I don't think are that smart, and they seem to do ok, so I feel like if they can do it, I should be able to as well...It scares me sometime when I start to think that being a stay-at-home mom might not be such a bad career move. Not that I have anything against being a stay-at-home mom...its just that I've always had all these ambitions and goals and I feel like they are disappearing - and I don't want to be another cliche.

But anyway, I'll get over it and I'm sure come the weekend my mood will improve.