5 month update - part 1

I realized today that since Kubus is going to be 5 months old in 2 days, now would be a good time to update you guys on life as a mother, my recent move and other things that you may (or may not) find interesting - and Julia told me to write another mass email, so this is really to humor her (kidding).

So, what has my experience of being a mother been like? Here's my top 7 things that I learned:

1. It is amazing how little sleep you need to function. I used to think that I needed at least 8 hours of sleep to feel normal but I've decided that sleep is over-rated. In truth, as long as I get 3 hours in a row, I'm golden. It is now my opinion that if you're waking up after sunrise, you are lazy. Haha, yeah right - honestly, after some nights of getting up so many times I can't keep track, if I were offered a million dollars or 3 hours of solid, uninterrupted sleep, I would take sleep HANDS DOWN.

2. Its amazing how interesting (or panic creating) poo can be. Seriously - I was totally freaked out at first because Kubus would only poo every 2 or 3 days. Then when he did, there was the analysis of the poo - how big is it, is it too runny, too smelly, why is it green when its supposed to be mustard colored!?!?!? I got over it eventually when my doctor told us that breast-fed babies can poo as much as 5-6 times a day or NOT AT ALL because its very efficient food that doesn't create a lot of waste. He still only poos every 2-3 days and now I consider myself lucky - I mean, who wants to change poo diapers (or nappies for you brits) if you have to?

3. How much I don't care about people seeing my boobs. Before I had Kubus, I used to look at women breast-feeding in public in disbelief, and vowed I would never embarrass myself/make people uncomfortable like that when I had a baby. Well, thats out the window - I tell you once you give birth with 30 people looking at your va-jay-jay, nothing can top that and whats a little nipple on display every once in a while? Don't get me wrong - its not like I do the African thing and have my boobs hanging out all the time, but I have no qualms about (discretely) whipping one out in restaurants, mall benches, the subway...its much more preferable to me to have people see my boobs than to have to hold a screaming baby.

4. How much I would love my baby. I'm ashamed to admit that while I was pregnant I used to wonder sometimes if it was really worth it to give up so many things for a baby and I wondered if I would really love him, because even though inside me, he felt like a stranger. And even in the first few days, I wasn't sure what to think of him - I mean, I was proud of him and thought he was cute - but it didn't hit me until a bit later (once I started to recover) how powerful my feeling for him were. And I know this is cliche, but I honestly love him more and more everyday. When he smiles at me, its like for that second I feel like my life if totally perfect, like its proof that there is a God because there is no other explanation for how wonderful it is.

5. Patience. I can't believe how much more patient I am now. Its amazing - Kubus sometimes has these terrible tummy-aches and will SCREAM for up to 2 hours and the whole time I'm only concerned with his pain and not at all with the screaming itself. I'm also more patient with Jordan, with my parents and just with motherly things, like breastfeeding (its boring sitting there for 30 min or an hour in pitch dark at night, waiting for him to finish eating and go back to sleep - sometimes I watch sex and the city episodes in my head but I usually end up being too tired so I just stare into the dark). I'm also not so bothered by other babies crying. On the plane I was GRATEFUL that some other babies cried because if Kubus cried, then at least he wasn't the only one. Though I still get annoyed by screaming kids when i go to the mall and look at them as little germ-infested brats who should never be let out.

6. I want a "mom" hair cut - and a mini van. Ok, I'm kidding about the mini-van - and if anyone ever hears me saying I do want one, please feel free to slap me and tell me to snap out of it. But seriously, I am thinking about cutting my hair. One thing that they don't tell you is that hormones can screw up your body. In my case, one of the worst physical side-effects of this post-partum period has been hair loss. I thought I got lucky because during pregnancy, my hair became fuller, longer and SO healthy looking. But now its falling out by the clump full - I actually have bald patches, especially visible along my hair line - I look like I lost a good inch of it it in the front. And even though I love Jordan's mom, when I told her what was happening she said "ah, yes, my hair fell out after I had my babies and it never grew back" - I stared at her in disbelief and Jordan shot her an evil look and I guess she realized what she just said and tried to make it better by adding "but I'm sure that won't happen to you". Anyway, it depresses me when I think about it. Hence the need to cut my hair because it look gross when I pull it back and my pony tail is so skinny now, it looks like a rat-tail. Ok, I might be exaggerating a little, and I think its starting to grow back in places, but it also doesn't help that Kubus loves to grab at it and pull.

7. How much I still love celebrity gossip. You'd think that having a baby would put things into perspective for me, but I can't help it. I still log on to People.com whenever I get a chance and I secretly feel cool because it seems to be the "in" thing to have a baby now. Kind of like having that new "it" bag before everyone. And I still think that one of the coolest things about my trip over here was that I saw Emily Blunt (the assistant girl from Devil Wears Prada) in the business class lounge in the Vancouver airport - and that she was interrupted from reading a script when Kubus decided to throw a fit (she looked at us as if she would gladly have us leave).

OK...its now 9PM in Sydney and its my bed time. Going to sleep any later than 10PM would be like going to sleep at 4AM for a normal person and having to get up for work the next day. It sucks because I miss all the good TV shows - but luckily Jordan's parents have a PVR so I can record things (when I remember).


Kasia